Sometimes I don’t believe in karma, but sometimes it strikes. I was just complaining about people to my friend, and getting agitated and stuff. Then just as I was about to type something mean, the blue screen of death struck ):

I can count on myy for my midnight / post-midnight humor. Damn he’s hilarious at times. And of course, I’ve to count on a special someone else coming online soooo late to keep yy online. Otherwise he’d be offline by now.

Sigh oh well. It’s late I’m off.

Somehow, the aircon at my residence is growing colder and colder and colder as the days pass. I’ve turned it up to 21 degrees, I’ve put on long sleeve stuff sometimes to sleep, covered blanket and everything and I still feel cold.

Sometimes I’d get up in the middle of the night, for no reason at all, and sit up on my bed, stare at the wall in front of me, and imagining that it’d open some path for me to somewhere else where time didn’t pass so fast. Where I see no other people but myself. Where I walk on eternity. Recently I’ve just been imagining this particular scene wayy too many times:

It’d be on this ship. I’d be at the bow of this ship, not a modern one, but some decent wooden boat. And I’d  just be floating about in this really -endless- body of water. The water’s a dark blue to dark purple to black, the kind you see close to dusk. And there’re no rippling of waves (oh how I prefer the calmness of the sea). And when I look up into the sky, I see no sun. I see no birds. I see no clouds. I see the northern lights. And I’d be just right there, lying down face up, and staring into infinity.

There are times at night when I felt really close to that place, as if this room I’m in every night is just a dream I’m having from another reality beyond. And it’s hard not to cry, because in such a setting like that, you realize that life has really bloomed into true splendor. So beautiful yet so unreal, that not even love could draw you away.

Happy birthday mom! Haha I can’t remember how many times I called mom to wish her happy birthday. Could be close to 7 today, or 8 or 9. Gonna celebrate it this weekend or something. Ahahahaha.

I’m growing really frustrated with the internet connection here. Sometimes it cant even acces google, yet sometimes it can download files. It’s like here and there and sometimes here and never there or something. I’m trying to make good use of my time, but I’m failing so miserably. I hope that somehow I get some inspiration somewheree.

Btw I find it amusing to write things on the mist on a glass door when you take a bath like here in PGP. Haha those kinda mist that forms after some time when you bathe in hot water.

I finished my tutorial though! Finally.

Ahhhh finally accomplished what I wante dto achieve in d2. Beat the ubers at last! Haha thanks to yy’s minions who tanked and distracted. It feels good to have uninstalled it to, so I can stop playing so much every day and actually get down to doing some proper work. I received a massive number of songs (200+) from favian at one shot and am listening to them, deleting some awful ones and looping the really nice ones.

Today’s cancer forum was such a bore. Haha but I met one of the doverpark people whom I was under an attachment last time. Sigh. I miss that place. Someone come along with me there someday! I promise it’ll be a memooooorable experience

And. I have wonderfully hilarious / mean friends:

Status: Looking for a guide …

Status: Connected to guide: LoraN

LoraN: Welcome to ChaCha!

LoraN: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: hi

You: i have a friend called xavier chia wai tuck

You: i want to find his blog

You: he is from rjc

You: male

LoraN: He must not have it listed on any search engines, I’m not finding anything

LoraN: Maybe you could email him and ask for the site address

You: dam

You: it was a test

You: i know it already

You: just trying to find out whether cha cha sucks or not

LoraN: So do you think it does?

You: yes

LoraN: I go back and forth myself…

You: i do too ( ; especially to hot babes!

LoraN:

LoraN: So this blog actually exists?

You: yes

You: whyalltheangerandhate.blogspot.com

You: his email is at xavierchia2005@hotmail.com

You: add him

You: he is an intriguing personality

LoraN: You know him?

LoraN: I like the name of his blog… it’s a good question

You: yea hes really fat and full of lard

You: i love the blog

You: its full of hilarious information about himself

LoraN: Thanks for sharing with me.

LoraN: I’ll check it out

You: great

You: remember to tag

You: so he will know youve been there

LoraN: Anything else you’d like me to look for? Give chacha a second chance??

You: or else he’ll be really sad

You: yea sure

You: how about

You: pictures of hot babes 9;

You: (;

LoraN: I figure you can find that on your own… ;~)

LoraN: Thanks for searching ChaCha!

You: why not

LoraN: Thank you for using ChaCha!

Status: Session ended

I hate studying ): I hate seeing the textbooks on my bookshelf ): I hate seeing the timetable for the next day ): But well. Haha I just look forward to meeting people.

I’ve been staying awake till 3+ and even 4+ just stoning or talking to people on msn (there are people online!) and listening to music and juts thinking about everything in this calm cozy solitude I’ve found.

I don’t know if i’m feelign happy or not now. There are reasons fo me to feel happy, and many reasons otherwise too. I get this realization that somewhere, at some poitn along our lives, many of us (many indeed) will feel this unavoidable, compelling and subconscious need to change to a quieter, more reserved self. Have you changed? Have you experienced this before? Mine was midway in J1 I’m pretty sure, or maybe somewhere in the middle of sec 4. Before I knew it, I wasn’t receptive to strangers anymore, and I became not any less emotionless than a puppet in front of strangers.

It stems partly from plain laziness, partly from fear that something you do might mar others’ impression of you, partly from knowing that there’s no point wasting time with some people, partly from realizing that whatever you’re saying is not really consequential to anything at all. But we’re always happy to talk to our closer friends.

Yap’s coming over to stay for the night for aircon. Haha I might not even be sleeping. Let’s juts hope tomorrow doesn’t come so fast yea?

Toodles.

“im at macdonalds having a muffin and im staring at the egg white and i can visualize the precipitation of the albumin when the egg is cooked.” - Favian

Look where too much mugging gets you. Tch.

I’m back home. It’s been a tiring week. Haha but thanks for all the company people. You’ve kept me awake during lectures. You’ve kept me busy when I’d otherwise be feeling so bored. You’ve kept me happy amongst some not-so-pleasant times.

Too bad it was so late that xb booked out  yetserday ):. Haha i sorta fell asleep after he called me to say it as a bit late. I went to church early this morning and met one of my primary school friends. Odd how he managed to remember me when I’ve changed after so many years. I spoke with him for a while, and when I left I actually felt quite sad.

Wheni went lunch, I met one of my friends back at my mom’s shop when she was a hairdresser. it’s been such a small world these few days and i’m begining to think it’s all like a reality check. That i can’t just move on and leave the past behind as I’m doign so now.

Sigh. oh but surprises don’t end so quickly. I came home todya and I realize that jst in that week of my absence frmo home, a kitten has been born! It’s so cute it’s cute beyond anything anything anyhting in this world. It’s amaaazing. Man and I fed itmilk using a syringe and now it’s lying right beside me licking its paws. It can open its eyes and stare at me too. Black beady eyes. (: Any takers? Nah I ain’t giving this darling to anyone.

Haha fortunately I went for my mask fitting at 3, and faked that I had something up at 5, such that I sorta ended by 3:10 and saved myself some possible 2 hours of waiting or so. Following which, I hung around with yy and then went to meet favian at MMI lobby to talk and chill.

I met 2 of my fellow medics who were also posted to MMI. Damn it’s really awesome to be able to see them again, until they started throwing my pink IC around. And favian came to my residence for a while before I went dinner with him at bugis. Met 2 of my juniors from RI there, and damn it’s so sad that one of them couldn’t even recognize me ): after i changed my hair and voice (?). He said I sounded totally different frmo before. ):

I’m back in pgp. What a day it’s been.

Haha I’m at MMI now with favian. Waiting fo r5 when he can officially tell his superiors he gotta bail and then hes coming over to pgp for a while. Talking to him is therapeutic after an entire week with strangers andweirdoes and the like.

Xb please get IPPT gold like…today..like…now so u can come visit me later! Haha damn I’ve never missed my friends so much.